4 Lessons I learned In My Early 20’s

Don’t let this joyful, mimosa sipping girl above fool you. Behind the makeup and the clothes, there is someone trying to find their way and mold into adulthood- just like you! Believe it or not, I am a huge introvert! Like huuu-uuuu-ggee. A lot of people think I’m crazy when I say that- “you’re a blogger”… “you seem so talkative”… ya no. Lol. I mean, I am more so app of those things now but it was not always that way.

For starters, middle school and high school are hard… like damn. Especially being a girl! And when I say I was ugly in high school, I’m not one of those girls that’s like “ooh I was so ugly” but she was actually like a model- ya no… I was actually ugly. Brace face, acne, super pale, and just very unhappy with my physical appearance. No matter how much self tanner I put on, I still hated being in my own skin. Obviously, I still struggle with acne scars (bad- like for real), and I’m still pale, but I’m all of those things and happy.

See, my husband is one of those people that is like uhm sign me up, I’ll go back to high school!! He’s the life of the party, talks everybody’s ear off, always wants to be with people and loved every bit of high school. Lol- you are probably wondering what the heck we are doing together! Rewind 3 years…. I was scrolling through Instagram (ya ya… I know)… and I was like “dang… he cute”! Well my good friend at the time happened to know him pretty well… she gave him my number and of course, he wanted to see what I was all about. Lol! But seriously! He was actually stationed in Washington at the time (Marine Corps) and so all we could do was text. Long story short, we Skyped/texted/called each other everyday for the next three months and I haven’t gone a day without him since. We got married a year later and he has been my whole world ever since.

Now, back to me, and sorta him, but mostly me. Jake and I work so well because we balance each other out. He pulls out my adventurous side and I pull out his calm, family man side. BUT, it was not all sunshine and rainbows. I’ve never loved someone and hated someone more in my life- he would say the same about me. Lol. #marriage

This is rather long winded- I swear I’m getting to the point.

As I stated before, I was married young- 19 to be exact. (Also moved across the country to be with him where he was stationed at 19) So I was, and still am finding myself. And to be honest, Jake has helped with a lot of that. And I am by no means saying you need a guy to find yourself. I am saying that life events(getting married at 19) work in a funny way and it is all about how you handle them.

1. This sounds so cliche but, be yourself. I look back to senior year, walking down the hall way being so insecure. I was so caught up in trying to be pretty and look like ‘those girls’, that I lost who I was. And now that I am older, I know that those girls probably felt the same way. Everyone is insecure about something. Even the gorgeous girl you walk past at the party or the gym. This sounds so silly but I used to hate saying that I don’t play sports. All these girls around me were killing it at softball/cheer/basketball… and here I was, no athletic bone at all and no interest in it, and I felt the need to lie. Why? For what? Go play some basketball girl, do ya thing!! What I’m saying is that everyone is different for a reason. We can’t all look the same and do the same things. && those two sentences took me a long time to grasp. It wasn’t until Jake and I were going on walks around our neighborhood and we were laughing at how out of shape I was. In that moment, I realized that it was okay. I was happy. My husband and I are having a good laugh, and I don’t have to be the girl that’s in shape and athletic. I don’t have to act.

2. You don’t need all the friends. By all means, have friends and be a nice person, but you don’t have to please people to have friends. Boy oh boy- I am a people pleaser to the max! I would let people walk all over me. I hate confrontation and I didn’t want people to hate me or think I was weird. But I found myself in situations that were uncomfortable just because I didn’t want to be the one to say no. Never be scared to stand up for yourself. To be honest, this is something I am still working on.

3. This kind of falls in place with number 1, but… your life is not perfect, and that’s totally okay. I used to watch all these bloggers and think, “what the heck…. they have so much money, so many clothes, such a cute house…!?”- let me just say, that is not true! People see one second of one day in a picture… just because that picture is pretty, doesn’t mean everything is perfect. My life should not be compared to the blogger next to me- we have two different upbringings, two different lives, & we are two different people! You don’t have to have the perfect picture background or the perfect clothes from all the expensive stores. Be happy, realizing that you aren’t perfect.

4. Don’t be so consumed in your life that you have no clue what’s going on around you. You know those videos on Facebook where they walk around New York City and ask random people questions about the world? Ya, none of those people ever know what the heck they are saying. Do get me wrong, I’m not saying be a news junky or a history buff, but be engaged in your surroundings… it’s important to realize that there is more out there than your hometown and your social media. This sounds so cheesy but, soak in the world around you. You can learn so much about yourself by learning about your surroundings. All of the different cultures, religions, places, food, everything! Take interest. You are the future! And if none of that persuades you- ya never know when you’ll be in a game show and you have a million dollars on the line for one right answer! Lol. (My dad always used to tell me that)

I am by no means saying any of this because I have it all figured out. It’s actually the opposite. I am learning and working on myself everyday. I remind myself of these things everyday and I make sure that I live each day with substance.

XOXOXO,

KATY